July 2017

as July wanes…

…oh, how I would love to say that everything in my business and life fell into place and was filled with clarity and energy over my break…but that would be fantasy. I did rest much, and I didn’t think much (as planned). And I did get a very good start on my designing. But this week back has been such a challenge. And when I came up against some technological problems with my printer and designs today, I found all of the energy and focus I’d been nurturing all week flew right out the window.

The truth is, I am in as much of a menopausal muddle as ever, perhaps even more so. Physical symptoms abound and slow me down, and the mental and spiritual ones even more so. Lovely ideas for gentle routines and rhythms keep slipping through my fingers. My best support has been in finding understanding here and there from the women I’m listening to and reading. My favorite one about menopause is this…

…comparing menopause with puberty, which Lynette says is puberty to the nth degree. When a girl is going through puberty, we allow her to hole up in her room and write poetry and come out now and then to sigh. : ) But we have to continue working and being pleasant…

-Vivid Menopause podcast

I listened to one episode of this awhile ago, but remembered it again and am listening from the beginning. It is deep and delightful and may be of interest if you are going through any sort of transition. Episode 3 (Rivers and Tides) has been profound for me with its particular metaphor for stuckness. And speaking of stuckness…

If I could go back in time to when I started my business I would tell myself…Spend more time on my inner work than external business symptoms. If you are full of blocks it’s very difficult to make a success of anything.”

I wish I could link this, but I didn’t attribute it when I wrote it down. But I’ve been rereading it and some other notes I gathered during my break, and I see where I’ve been going wrong. All of the plans and paths I mapped out on my biz retreat are worthwhile and will be helpful to me. The ideas, the goals, the hopes, the dreams, too. But I am mostly spinning my wheels with it all until I sort out the spiritual roots of my life.

My word this year was Devotion…is Devotion. But when I chose it, I certainly had it in mind that it would mean consistency with my work and life habits and rhythms. I’ve been an utter failure at that vision, but I can see now that my Devotion should have begun on a spiritual level. How can I speak up to the world about my work when I can’t even get myself to journal in the privacy of my Daybook? How do I connect and converse with my women, my customers, my future customers in the online realm when I have to force myself to pick up the phone and call an old friend…especially the one I’ve been out-of-touch with for so long (like my blog and newsletter readers)?

It is “time” for me to change our banner and quote…but I’m going to leave it a bit longer, because its so true. And I need to be reminded of it as I try to go about finding my motivation and vision again from a different direction…to stop putting any more pressure on myself to live and work to a certain standard. Just like the adolescent girl in the first passage, I need to allow myself more time shut away writing and cutting and pasting…and definitely more sighing. That girl had to go to school. I have my musts, as well, but I’m going to let go of the ones my mind is putting on myself and turn my ears more towards my spirit.

Since even plumbing the depths in my journal, tho’, is difficult these days, I may use the questions here to get me started. We’ll see. And my other approach is inspired by another of my notes (again, no source!)…

“Some great advice I got is, when you’re feeling de-motivated, that is the time to focus on non-creative tasks. Clean out your desk, organize your tax receipts, start making lists of odds and ends that need to be done. SMALL, mindless tasks, not big giant projects. Because when you check the little things off, you feel satisfied and a sense of accomplishment (also, sometimes leaving those tasks undone is what saps us of our energy and motivation).”

I know this so well in the domestic/home world, but seem to have lost the thread of it with my business. Of course, in business, the organizing can slip so easily into projects…marketing and new technology and such. But I’ll try to keep us focused on the Small things as we do our own version of Wisteria & Sunshine’s Restful Organizing in August. And we can all work together on refreshing our business spirits.

Can you relate to any of what I’ve shared? Let us know in the comments…

summer respite…

Summer is deeply here now, and so is my annual break from posting here, there and everywhere. I’ll be spending the rest of today leaving messages in all of my places, so that I can truly let go and leave them be for a few weeks. I received my own message last night that it was necessary to do so, that I may spend time just being, myself. Tho’ I do have lots of Daybook designing ahead…

And please meet our summer business heroine, Margra. When I close my eyes lately, there is much too much thinking going on behind my lids…Margra reminds me to make sure there is plenty of dreaming…gratitude…and savoring…time enough for plotting and planning in a few weeks time.

But do read last week’s post and add any ideas or wishes you may have in response. I’ll be taking it all into consideration when I get back to making plans for us in a few weeks…

xo

 

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